Is life about luck?

I woke up in hell today. 

I was hot and sad, never wanting to feel this way again.

I lost my best friend...

I gave up on my future...

I denied my feelings...

I let down my lover....

I am just a little girl, living in a horrible world; without the slightest understanding of the word LIFE.

Sometimes, I need a kiss, sometimes a hug but mostly just a prayer will do.

The things around me are always shaky, always confusing, always hot and cold

The life I long to live is within my reach but the journey there is taking forever.

Do I really ask for too much? Or is this one of those "God's time is the best" type thingy?

When do I know to stop believing that things will change? There's a difference between hope and deluded. I am living in between.

Just after one task is completed, right before I celebrate and give myself a pat on my back, I get another puzzle... harder than the previous, more confusing, with much more at stake.

I am living in Hell! 

back home

So.. its been forever since I wrote something down. Trust me, so much shiiiiiiit has gone on since then. I went to West Africa, U.K, and back. I had the best time of my life since the age of 17. These couple of weeks I spent in W.A were the greatest gift I got this year.

Everything's changed. Yea, my country Nigeria is a 3rd world country but shit is poppin over there. From the beaches, to the clubs to the hustling to the food... Pure fun! I cried when I realized I had to return.

The best thing tho' was seeing the face of the woman that birth me. The angel still looked the same, acted the same and I love her most for that. I broke down when I saw her. 'Migolo!' she screamed, and we ran into an embrace. The whole family was live. Everyone all grown... all I could say was 'OMYGOD, is this..... how tall are u... OMYGOD, look at.... how old are u.' I needed this getaway and I am so happy I spent it with the people that know me best. The food was popping, first time since I was 17yrs that I had all three meals served to me on a day to day basis. Three different meals, three just cooked hot and spicy meals. Ahhh.. I was in a dream.

But I am back, I am back to the real world with bills, gun shots and work। Its pretty depressing, I have acne all over as proof.