Little Miss Willow Smith

She's 10 years old and is already becoming... I guess a Fashonista! I see Grace Jones/Rihanna in this.

Do i need a partner to make me happy

I find myself hiding in darkness under the comfort of my blanket, curtains down, lights off. Just me and the tranquility I have created. But still my head keeps pounding, my mind keeps speaking, my soul is still troubled.

Sometimes, I enjoy loneliness, I call it ME time. But who am I kidding? The yearnings of my heart are driving me crazy. The image my mirror shoots back at me is saddening. Is this some sort of self esteem situation. Since when has being alone been a problem ?

I have always loved to spend time with myself, coloring and dancing in front of the mirror. Over the years, I have loved it enough to make it a ritual. But now I am needing more. Seeking more.

Maybe its the age thing. As you get older your needs change right? Wrong!... Well sort of. Or maybe because there is a new bride every other day.

But I was fine just a week ago.

I never look past my tomorrows when it comes to a boyfriend. If years come and we are still great, then lovely. But I have never seen the picture of my soul mate in my future. Mommy says, when you meet "the one" you will know he is the one. Well He is always 'the one' in the beginning, during the 4hr phone conversations, texts and BBMs, laughing at each others stupid jokes, basically showing only the side of you that you want to be seen. Then 1 year passes by and ' the one' becomes 'hmm..'.

However, is it so wrong to just want my bf? This world is so lonely. How do people do it?

Question.. Are you single by choice?

O.G.E

My 28year old cousin, thinks she is actually about 10-12yrs old. She keeps stuffed animals and teddy bears and even travels and sleeps with them. She has so many and treats them like humans. One of her stuffed animals fell into our mischievous hands one day and if she wanted it back, we needed some ransom.

The culprit and The accomplice. Ransom: $600. (negotiable)

I am sorry!!
I've said it time and time again. I never imagined the pain i would bring you if I left you. The future we planned together escaped through our hands held together. We prayed to make it last but did not try hard to make it strong. Our bond broken, our hearts crying, our minds completely disengaged from within. I am sorry I took away your love. Took away every passion we shared, every dream we hoped.
The tears are coming down, no doubt. The confusion set in years before the damage was done. The fear is indescribable - Who would love me like you did? How long will it take me to find another real love? What the F**ck did I do?
I am sorry, I will always be. But now I must sleep on the bed that I made. I must learn to deal with the circumstances I have created. We must move on not looking back, no regrets just lessons learned. I will not blame you or point fingers either way. I only promise that I will always keep you in my heart. xoxo

My nigerian hair-do.

Whenever I go to Nigeria, I always come back with a sick hair do. I luvvit!! And I went to Togo, a little french speaking country in Africa, they sold these colorful beads in the market. They go with any and everything. I love them absolutely.

The year to make it or break it.

For about 2 weeks, I have been feeling invincible

Like I have been high and can't process what naturally goes on in the world

Last I was reconnected with earth, Haiti had an earthquake and a terrorist was caught.

But since then, I have been drowned in my own sorrows and thoughts

I sleep when my part of the world is up and I am awake when they are asleep

The worst part however is the feeling of despair and lack of purpose.

The new year brought me new thoughts and doubts

The idea that I will be a year older, I should be a year smarter

I am beginning to reconsider every decision I have made. Love, education, and every lifestyle.

I am happy to be alive, don't get me wrong. However, I can't process the rule of living a happy life.

I am tired of paying tons of bills, school loans. Tired of making a choice, loving the wrong or the right person.

Living is risky, life demands the smarts. Quick and straight to the point answers; if not the conclusion may be a huge set back in the path to success. And I yearn for success.

I am at that cross-road. The junction between who I am and the reason the Almighty put me here.

I am yet to figure out how the rest of my years will be narrated but I am learning this new thing about faith and I am willing to 'walk by faith and not by sight.'

Recently.. We chat on d phone.

let me introduce u to my lovely by the name Krystal/ Nneka. known her for over 10yrs. Put up her pic because recently she's been an inspiration and a source of determination to me. She's one of my favorite people in the world. I love her!

I grew to adore ME..

Is life about luck?

I woke up in hell today. 

I was hot and sad, never wanting to feel this way again.

I lost my best friend...

I gave up on my future...

I denied my feelings...

I let down my lover....

I am just a little girl, living in a horrible world; without the slightest understanding of the word LIFE.

Sometimes, I need a kiss, sometimes a hug but mostly just a prayer will do.

The things around me are always shaky, always confusing, always hot and cold

The life I long to live is within my reach but the journey there is taking forever.

Do I really ask for too much? Or is this one of those "God's time is the best" type thingy?

When do I know to stop believing that things will change? There's a difference between hope and deluded. I am living in between.

Just after one task is completed, right before I celebrate and give myself a pat on my back, I get another puzzle... harder than the previous, more confusing, with much more at stake.

I am living in Hell! 

back home

So.. its been forever since I wrote something down. Trust me, so much shiiiiiiit has gone on since then. I went to West Africa, U.K, and back. I had the best time of my life since the age of 17. These couple of weeks I spent in W.A were the greatest gift I got this year.

Everything's changed. Yea, my country Nigeria is a 3rd world country but shit is poppin over there. From the beaches, to the clubs to the hustling to the food... Pure fun! I cried when I realized I had to return.

The best thing tho' was seeing the face of the woman that birth me. The angel still looked the same, acted the same and I love her most for that. I broke down when I saw her. 'Migolo!' she screamed, and we ran into an embrace. The whole family was live. Everyone all grown... all I could say was 'OMYGOD, is this..... how tall are u... OMYGOD, look at.... how old are u.' I needed this getaway and I am so happy I spent it with the people that know me best. The food was popping, first time since I was 17yrs that I had all three meals served to me on a day to day basis. Three different meals, three just cooked hot and spicy meals. Ahhh.. I was in a dream.

But I am back, I am back to the real world with bills, gun shots and work। Its pretty depressing, I have acne all over as proof.